I Suck at Multi-player
I was never real good at video games. I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s because I never really had any growing up. I mean some people walking around these days have 20+ years behind the joystick, I only have like 3 years. I was merely a casual onlooker as I saw systems like the Super Nintendo, the PS1 and the N64 come and go. Maybe it’s that I’m not really cordinated whatsoever, anything that requires a little finesse and agility usually ends up as an epic disaster with me. Maybe it’s that I don’t really have anytime to play them, I get like 2 hours of free time a day and I don’t think the Mrs. just wants to sit there and watch me play video games.
Despite all my video game shortcomings I really enjoy playing them. The new games out these days are immersive and impressive and I have a lot of fun with them. Although I have to say the multiplayer aspect of the games sucks. It’s not like they’re not enjoyable by design, some games like Uncharted 2 have a pretty kick ass multiplayer, it’s that everytime I go online I’m dead within like 5 minutes, no scratch that, like 30 seconds. I always have the lowest kill score and it always makes me feel like an all around loser. I mean all these idiots who spend 3 hours a day playing these games have taken the fun out it. When they get so good that you absoulutely don’t have a hope. They don’t even give you a chance, they’ll be nothing but a pixel that you can’t even see and somehow they hit you right between eyes.
If I’m ever squaring off with these guys, they’ve killed me before I’ve even had a chance to register that they’re there. It’s just like ‘hey wha..?’ and all of a sudden I’m waiting to respawn wondering what just happened. Other time they’ll be in front of me and I’m just unloading my super crazy a million shots a minute uzi into them and but somehow this orgy of death that I’ve been throwing their way in the last 30 seconds hasn’t done much more then mess their hair up and they take their pistol and kill me with one shot.
Going through the leaderboards of Call of Duty Modern Warfare, the guy in seventieth place in the world who goes by a_Sittingduck_12 has 1,880,370 kills. I picked 70th because the numbers from 1-50 were in the hundreds of millions and were completely impossible to obtain. Anyways, 1,880,370 kills, almost 2 million people. If this were a real solider he would be responsible for killing the entire population of Calgary twice over or 4 times the amount of American casualities from World War II or 33 times the amount from the Vietnam war.
As of September 27th, this game was released 1058 days ago. So this means playing the game 14 hours a day he would have to have killed 126 people an hour, every day for three years or a kill every 47 seconds. Like how is this even possible? I’m lucky to get 10 kills after playing this game for an hour. When does this guy have time to eat? What kind of a life is that? Sitting in your parents basement never going out, never socializing, just playing the same game every day all day. It’s not like there’s really any reward for being that good, it doesn’t benefit anyone that you’re a Call of Duty killing machine. No one outside a few other video game nerds really cares. You’re not getting paid. Seems like a completely unrewarding thing to spend all your time doing. I’m willing to bet that his stats are a result of some computer error but nevertheless you can go down the list into 2 or 3 hundreds and still find people with hundreds of thousands of kills.
My big question is how is someone like me supposed to compete with that? It just goes back a saying of mine that no matter how good you are, there is always going to be someone better (unless you’re Michael Phelps or something) So whatever, I guess I’ll just admit defeat and let these kids have their stupid first person shooter games and revel in the fact that I’ve probably had sex 100 times more then any of those guys.
